Signals
by IslandGem
Summary: Stephen Jamieson, the 'Chosen One' has become reflective about his life, and the one person who has always been there. Now he just needs to tell her that. In a typically roundabout way. A future TTP fic with flashbacks and appearances from the whole crew. Please check it out :)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Howdy peeps. I am new to TTP. Love it. Watched the earlier series way back when so yeah. I thought of this fic idea after watching some cool fanvids on Youtube. Not sure how long or how detailed I will get but I am having fun with it for now, and yes, there's a pairing here - even if they're only in my head :) The lyrics are from Duncan Sheik's 'Half-Life' track.

Disclaimer: Don't own the show or the characters, just this story.

* * *

_"I'm awake in the afternoon_  
_ I fell asleep in the living room_  
_ And it's one of those moments_  
_ When everything is so clear.."_  
_**  
**_

_**Prologue**_

If he had to pinpoint it down to one isolated incident, he can't.

This type of shit doesn't really work that way anyways right? You get it when you..well, get it.

Ignoring the wolf whistles from some of the others, he tugs on the jacket, and laughing to himself, he walks back into the entranceway.

_Great_. It would seem he is resorting to Russellisms now to get in touch with all of this. This…This.._whatever_ it is he finally seems to be getting.

Sheesh. He's a mess. Although, the way the past five years have gone, things have been all over the place a long time now. And maybe. Just_ maybe_ it was finally the right time. To dare to breathe and imagine…Maybe.

He sighs, willing himself to concentrate on teleporting himself away. From the Lair - now' HQ' in the final stages of the battle.

This life he has had to choose and all the sacrifices that have come along with it. That and the screwed up logic that his double, no wait, triple life has led him to.

When he arrives at his destination, he looks down at his wristwatch, thankful that he's made it here much earlier than he needs to be. It gives him extra time to get his shit together. To not seem too..frazzled.

So? When did it happen? How many times had he missed it? That thing. The reasons.

Signals. _That's_ what they were. That's what he'd missed. Or had been too preoccupied with everything else that had happened in between it all. To him. To his family. To the Tomorrow People. Even his batshit crazy uncle, the Founder, and his minions. Between them. And her.

Leaning against the cold metal he allows himself a trip down that long, complicated as fuck, and unconventional memory lane.

* * *

**A/N: Me again! Yeah I know, it's short. But wait! There's more! :) Thanks for reading, and as always reviews and your thoughts are much appreciated. I'm a big girl, I can take it :) Next bit up soon. P.S. Thanks to LadySilver for her encouragement to write for this fandom, and if you haven't checked out her story 'Pushed' yet you should. Cheers x from IslandGem **


	2. Loyalty

**_A/N: Okay, I'm back with the first chapter. Thank you to those of you who took the time to read the first one, and thank you for the follow Sarina20188, much appreciated :) Let me know what you think, I love comments. _**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TTP in any shape or form. I have used excerpts from Duncan Sheik's great track_ 'Half-life'._**

* * *

**Chapter One: Loyalty**

_**"It takes so much out of me to pretend  
**** Tell me now, tell me how to make amends.."**_

**_Perhaps it had started way back when. The very first time they met…_**

It was a muggy summer day in New York. During school holidays. The Brooklyn Bridge Park was teaming with families and there was a street circus performance scheduled for later that morning. It was only six months since his Dad had left them. His mother had just changed jobs and this had been her first free weekend in a month. A chance to spend some time with a chubby, tres energetic Luka and (an already) tall, reserved Stephen. Even at age eight he was serious. "You're just an old soul", his mum would say each night when she ruffled his hair and kissed him, the tears shining in her eyes.

That day she was happy and laughing as the clowns came over to shake hands with them. It was then he noticed the petite, curly haired girl wearing a light blue singlet and jean shorts near the railing, trying unsuccessfully to push a bigger kid away. The bully was twice her size. His chubby face crinkling into a nasty sneer as he grabbed her purple sparkly backpack, holding it over her head and taunting her.

He watched her facial expression turn from anger to dismay as the boy suddenly lobbed the bag over the rail and the girl shrieked, lunging towards the barrier. Stephen instinctively moved closer and raised his own hand, wanting to yell at her to stop when the bag unexpectedly and weirdly seemed to pause for a millisecond before landing on the other side of the railing precariously near the edge.

Stephen rushed over to her, ignoring his mother calling him come back. His only immediate thought was that he needed to get over to where the girl was now struggling to clamber over the side to retrieve her bag. The place was packed and it took a while for his mum and a confused Luka to reach him and by that time, he was already on the other side, picking up the bag, precariously dangling there.

Strong arms yanked him back over the rail and he looked up to see a worried man and woman looking down at him. He said nothing as his mother admonished him while crushing him in a bear hug at the same time.

"Stephen?! Oh my Go-! What on _Earth_ were you thinking?!" the raw anguish in her voice he'd never really understood – or appreciated until now. Years later when everything had come out. Who and what he really was. And the fact that she and his father had already known what their life would be like. Being Tomorrow People.

He looked up at her, mumbling how sorry he was.

That's when he noticed the girl. She was thin and her curly hair was even bigger and frizzy up close. Her dark eyes were shining and she looked up at him, her smile wide and bubbly.

"That's my bag..", she offered shyly.

Stephen handed it to her and continued staring, but not wanting to at the same time. He wasn't sure what to say to this girl. He only remembers knowing he wanted to be right there. Close to her.

"Thanks", she said.

He shrugged, looking down at the ground. He could feel his mother's, her parents', and other people's eyes on him. A mini crowd had gathered when someone shouted that a little boy was going over the railing. And not for the first time, he found himself wishing he wouldn't just react to situations. At least not ones that bring attention.

_Don't stick out Stephen. Be normal Stephen_. It had almost become a mantra for him, even at that age.

He turned to walk off when suddenly the girl poked his shoulder.

"I'm Astrid. What's your name?"

He looked back down at her. Almost as if she could sense he was shy, the girl smiled encouragingly and put her hand out to grab his.

"Would you and your brother like to watch the circus with me and my parents?"

Stephen looked up at his mother, already conversing happily with Astrid's parents while Luka sat on the bench eating the rest of his candy floss with relish.

He took her hand and nodded slowly with a slight smile on his face.

* * *

His phone beeps suddenly, bringing him back to the present. Its his brother...Luka. Just checking in with him as per their normal agreement. For a brief moment he allows himself to think of his family. How they are living underground now. He tries to think about how they - and Astrid must feel each day. The thought of her brings him back to his thoughts. And off he drifts again.

* * *

**_..Or was it that summer of the eighth grade, at camp?_**

Crystal Rolland was a "Grade A hottie". Definitely in terms of what most average young teen boys think symbolizes such a word. The long, shiny blonde tresses, and her favoured miniskirts and hot pink nail polish set her way above the other females in his class. When she had approached him at the school dance and asked him to dance, and later awarded him his first French kiss, this had settled it. He was in Heaven. It didn't matter that Crystal Rolland was kind of a major bitch. Destined to graduate to a high school one in the next year. At that point, even Astrid's point of view on the matter didn't really count. Something he'd come to realise later on in life was a grave mistake on his part.

A month later and cue summer camp – his mother's idea to introduce nature and "other interests" to him. The only real redeeming factor was that Astrid would be going too. But it got so much better when Crystal ended up there too, and then, there wasn't much Astrid/Stephen time. His boyish love for all things Crystal had him running around her and her gang which meant there was little interest in campfires, hikes, and entering the camp talent show as per their earlier plans.

He recalls how Astrid had (by then) developed a knack for calling him on his dick behavior and she did so then. A week later he walked into Crystal's cabin, only to find her making out with Billy, one of the camp counselors. A male "Grade A hottie" as the female campers called him. At sixteen he was older, 'experienced', and the top of the food chain. There had been some yelling, and somehow, Billy found himself ass side up on the floor, not sure how he got there. Stephen had been standing in the doorway when it happened and he was just as surprised as the counsellor. Crystal had tried to tell him it was just a bit of fun, but he told her to take a hike before hightailing it to the forest to not cry.

Later that afternoon, after skulking around outside Astrid's cabin for thirty minutes, she finally came out and listened to him grovel and bemoan his lost love. Then she did what Astrid Finch does best. Let him have it. Then forgave him.

A day later, they were walking towards the lake discussing their talent show routine when she (and fifty other people) heard a loud snigger behind her and Crystal's loud voice cutting through the air, "There goes Stephen and his _boy_friend Astrid. Ever heard of padding Finch?" Cue bitchy laughter from her cronies.

Angrily, Stephen turned around to respond but Astrid put a hand on his arm and he watched her walk over to Crystal as she stood posing in her silver bikini on the edge of the jetty, hands on hips and blonde hair perfectly set.

He can remember the way Astrid's curly dark hair fell into her eyes as she marched up to Crystal and without saying a word, reached out, shoving her right into the water.

Kids laughed as she screeched like a banshee, emerging from the water resembling a drowned rat.

Treading water, she screamed at Astrid who had already turned and was walking off in the direction of the softball pitch.

"Stephen! Come on!" she called over her shoulder. Bright eyes shining and a smile on her face, with those crazy curls bouncing as she beckoned to him.

He thinks he may have been standing there looking at her slack jawed in awe or something akin to it, but it was so long ago, he can't be sure.

With one last look and a laugh at Crystal, he finally ran to catch up with her.

* * *

**_A/N: Yup. Flashbacks, which I hope don't get too confusing to follow between them__.__ and present time. Or too boring :) Thanks for taking the time to read. Please let me know what you thought if you have a moment, feedback is always good. Cheers, IslandGem_**


	3. Unchartered

**A/N: This chapter is a follow on of flashbacks like the last one. They are headed up by mini titles in_ italics_ so I hope its not too confusing. Okay, thank you so very muchly the folks who took time to read and send me your thoughts. I love reviews and scenarios/plotlines for Stephen/Astrid are fine by me Mem so thanks for sharing :) I have got this fic planned out (more or less now) so its awesome to see that some folks are into it. Enough gassing, onwards! :) **

**Disclaimer: Don't own an iota of TTP, just the story ideas here. The song excerpts are from Duncan Sheik's lovely 'Half-Life' lyrics. **

* * *

**Chapter Two: Unchartered **

_"Before the truth goes back into hiding_  
_ I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding_  
_ To work on finding something more than this fear.."_

Stephen Jamieson turns and leans over the railing, savoring the coolness of the metal. He hopes he's not getting sweaty palms. That hasn't happened in a while, although, in a weird way, he doesn't really mind if it does. It's one of those things that normal people get sometimes. But it's kind of a moot point here since he's not a human being. Or normal so…

* * *

_The summer before Freshman year, Kelly Bateman's house party…_

Astrid Finch _was_ human though. Stephen had always felt she was that much better at expressing and evoking her emotions as well. To be fair, Homo Superiors could do that too but, perhaps it just came down to who she was.

It was supposed to be a pretty cool night. Their parents had agreed to let them both attend what Jenny Myers had claimed was going to be 'make or break their high school careers party'. Astrid and Stephen had nodded solemnly when Jenny had told them this in a weighty tone. Walking back to Stephen's house that afternoon they had dissolved into laughter. Jenny Myers had a well-established flair for the dramatics and as Astrid pointed out, who decided that this was _the_ party to decide their futures? As if?!

Until this point, Stephen hadn't _really_ clicked on that his best friend wasn't just his best friend but that she was…well, a girl. Who sometimes liked pretty, delicate things. And boys. And that she wasn't just an extension of him.

Case in point when she rang him two hours later that night, words flying over each other in excitement, that apparently Rob Hann had spoken to Kasey Milson about her and he told Brigitte Olan who then told Jenny Myers that he'd asked if Astrid was going to be at the party that Friday 'cos he wanted to know if she was and Stephen don't you dare make an immature gagging noise on the phone and can we please _please_ with a cherry and _extra_ chocolate drizzle on top go to the party because Rob freaking Hann asked for me?!

Stephen remembers feeling slightly odd at that moment. He wasn't a big social gathering type of person but because Astrid had asked, of course he went along with it. He doesn't recall a time – before he knew that he was a Tomorrow Person that he would've said no to her.

He got that same weird feeling again when he watched her walk down the stairs at her house to leave for the party with him a few days later. She looked…different. And…sort of, beautiful. They'd both had another crazy growth spurt over the summer and now her long, lean figure nicely filled out her new jeans and the pretty, silver and black tee, and her red jacket, which she had paired with a homemade bead necklace she had made and her three silver rings which he'd given her when she had turned fourteen. She almost never took those off.

The party had begun okay. He and Cheyenne had parted ways relatively teen angst free a few weeks before school was about to start again, having never really gotten over the instrument mouth piece choking episode, and he was happy to play escort for Astrid.

When Kelly had suggested they play 'Seven Minutes in Heaven', Rob Hann had volunteered re: muscled his way in for first go and had winked at Astrid. Stephen touched her arm and said quietly, "You know, you don't have to go in there with him if you don't want to".

Blushing slightly, she shrugged and then went into the closet with him. Stephen crossed his arms and leaned against the table, eating chips and talking about comics with AJ Page. Less than a minute later the closet door banged open and Astrid burst out, her eyes filling with tears.

Stephen was by her side in a second, silently asking her what had happened as he looked at her closely.

Astrid shook her head and mumbled quietly, "Stephen? Can you take me home now please?"

Stephen scowled at Rob Hann as he moved out, towards the table to grab some food.

"What did you do Hann?" he almost growled. His voice, thankfully deeper today.

Rob shrugged rudely and popped a Dorito into his mouth, "I needed a math tutor and Finch is a math geek so..? What? You didn't think I was _into_ her did you? Don't look at me like that Jamieson; I probably did her a favour tonight. Hahaha..", his mouth now open for all to see the chewed up Dorito. It just made the whole thing worse, coupled with the other kids giggling in the background

Stephen moved closer towards Rob, his fists clenched up by their own volition. An instinct. He was not even aware of how close he was to the other kid; he could only feel a sense of-

"Stephen! Let's go", Astrid's voice was loud but he could still make out a faint tremor.

It was enough to make him retreat, and grabbing her hand, they left.

Twenty minutes later, they were lying beside each other on Stephen's bed in his new house. The pale pink attic walls weren't a hit with him but his mother had told him to pick out a colour and paint it that summer.

A tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream and two spoons were placed on the carpet near the bed and they were rolling around laughing at something ten year old Luka had done earlier that day. Astrid sat up to hold her aching tummy and told him to stop it. Laughing was beginning to hurt. That and a major overload of her favourite ice cream. Stephen's mom always kept a box of it at their house for her. Stephen would always remind her to buy it if she forgot.

He watched as she got up and walked into his ensuite, and then caught sight of her reflection and suddenly, her expression softened. He could sense the change in her mood almost instinctively so he hopped off the bed and followed her, standing in the doorway, watching her tie her hair back and remove her necklace.

He wanted to say something about what happened. But she hadn't mentioned it since they left Kelly's house and he didn't want to say the wrong thing. But he couldn't not say anything either.

"Hey Astrid..?" his voice was tentative.

She paused, looking at him in the mirror.

"Hann's an ass. Seriously".

She guffawed and nodded slightly, turning and coming back towards him as he moved back, making room for her to sit with him on the edge of his with him.

"Did he..? He didn't try anything did he?"

She turned to him and shook her head.

"Nope. He was just after my brain…_Lucky_ me". The sarcasm was barely there. It was overlapped with the humour in her voice.

It was enough to calm his thoughts. Astrid the Strong was back baby.

"Well he's an ass. And so not worth you breaking out your best beads for..What? I'm just sayin'…"

She burst out laughing again and he joined in.

That deep, belly ache type of laughter.

Her happiness mingled with his as they both lay back down.

He could feel the tickle of her dark curls near his left ear and her even breathing.

"You should paint it forest green. Your second favourite colour", she finally said.

"What?" Confusion again.

That was Astrid; even her thoughts could multi task. There was a tiny part of him that wanted to know how she even recalled details like that when he couldn't even remember to turn up to football practice unless it was written on a calendar and repeated to him daily.

"Your room", she replied raising one arm to point at the walls.

"Forrest green is calming. This will be like…your sanctuary. Don't laugh, I know, it may sound corny but it's also kinda cool. I mean, who doesn't need a sanctuary right?"

He turned slightly to study her expression thinking she was being a smartass but she had already curled up closer towards his shoulder, leaning against him.

Breathing in her lavender scented shampoo he looked back up, hands folded over his stomach and relaxed again.

"Forest green it is".

* * *

He smiles as he thinks back to that summer, and how it had taken them three tries to finish the whole room, having accidentally picked up the wrong paint the second time and not realizing until half a wall was done. Astrid had gotten green paint all over her favourite pink sweater and that paint fight afterwards…

* * *

_Five years ago, the week of the 'Homecoming Dance', when it had all changed for them…_

He was sitting on her couch, making his way to boredom but not quite. His mood was too happy to go all the way down there. They had finally made up (although he was pretty sure Astrid hadn't forgiven him completely yet) and he was not going to complain about having to sit through what Astrid jokingly called her '27 Dresses' moment.

She looked good in white. In pink. Actually, come to think of it, she looked wonderful in just about anything. When she walked back out wearing the white dress with pink colours in it (he didn't know what the technical name for that sort of thing was) but he had eyes. He knew she was attractive. He just never thought he'd be able to actually verbalize it. Not like that. Typically Astrid, being quite shy about her appearance played it down and laughed, but looking back now, not for the first time, he knows that if they had made it to the dance that night, she would have been the belle for sure. Not that he has ever been impartial when it came to her.

Of course, once the word was out of his mouth, he found himself frozen momentarily. He knew that Astrid was lovely. He'd been told that by other guys asking him not so discreetly for her number, and he'd noticed how men would check her out when they walked down the street. It wasn't that he wasn't aware of her physically appearance by then, but more like, he saw beyond that. And he didn't want that to be something that defined how he felt about her. Besides, there was an unwritten rule that you did not perve at your best friend, even if other guys said she was a hottie.

He tries not to think back to that night now. Watching the attack from the balcony above as the Tomorrow People scrambled around. Their screams, the whine of the bullets whizzing all over the place, and the stale smell of sweat and blood. So much blood.

He had been so naïve about the situation. And the realities of his new world. He had broken protocol of course. Taking Irene to the hospital was not 'done'. But he had to do it. He had to. As he laid her carefully on a spare gurney outside the ER doors, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

Teleporting back to his house wasn't easy. He had had to stop and take a couple of deep breaths. His immediate thought was to get back to his room. His refuge. And then he thought of Astrid. Shit. What was she going to think? How the hell was he going to get out of this one? He couldn't say 'Oh shit, yeah sorry. I couldn't come to the dance with you because I had to go to work for my sadistic uncle and his gang of murders, but I am really pulling an 'Alias' here, complete with a different species thrown in the mix and oh by the way, I am not human and I can read minds, move things with my mind, and transport myself all over the place. You look awesome in that dress by the way'.

Yeah right. His family and Astrid were the most important people in his life. There was _no_ way he could get her involved in any of this. He didn't even know what 'this' was really yet. Fuck it. He could barely think right now. He was ready to collapse himself.

"Stephen?" she sounded uncharacteristically shrill as she stood in front of him. Her eyes hard, yet her tone soft and concerned.

She pulled him close to see his hands and shirt, her own eyes filled with tears when she saw his.

And when he had told her not to get involved, typical Astrid Finch behavior told him all he needed to know. And he told those rational thoughts to go hang when he looked into her eyes.

"Do you trust me? Take my hands..", he said with bated breath. A loud voice screaming inside his head, willing her to say 'no thanks, I'm good' and wishing that she had walked away, out of his room and away from his life.

When she didn't leave, it didn't matter much either way. His mind was already made up.

Standing near the railing, in the dark, cool night, still in the white/pink dress – what he's always called it since that night; she had this look on her face. One that held fifty one emotions all in one. Wonderment, fear, confusion, and something else. Something more..Something that he'd later come to confirm when he did a stupid thing that night. Inadvertently, but stupid all the same.

"Stephen…? You…?" she breathed out finally. Her dark eyes dancing, as she held on to one of his hands, looking around a deserted Brooklyn Bridge park walkway, as the city lights glimmered in the distance.

The wind had started to pick up and she shivered slightly as he moved closer, trying to shield her from the cold.

"I have something to tell you Astrid. I'm sorry…I don't have all the answers right now but what I do know, I'll try my best to tell you. There is a part of my life that I never knew about and now..Now I'm on this road and it's something that I have to keep separate from my family…from you and-"

She tugged his hand, not unlike the very first time they met, right here in the same exact spot. The realization of the memory is enough to stop his speech and look back down at her.

"Not completely separate though Stephen..You and I will never be completely apart from each other. And definitely not now," she corrected him gently, as she reached up to brush a stray curl off her face.

He paused, looking for the right words to say, as she turned around again, to face the water.

After a few moments, he began to talk. And the line between his lives somehow became slightly more blurred. But somehow, at that moment in time, he was okay with that.

* * *

**A/N: Cheers for reading and if you have a chance please let us know what you think. Next one up soon. IslandGem x**


	4. The Girl from Yesterday

**A/N: Yes! I'm back folks! Okay, first of all I would like to apologise for the delay. Work's been full on lately so yep, I had to take a step back from FF (IKR?! How DARE RL take over? :)) Secondly, I am blown away by your comments, the follows, and the favourites! Seriously. Its so cool to see other TTP fans out there taking time to give their thoughts on the direction of my story, and share how they feel about the show. My fave character is actually Astrid and in my unashamedly biased opinion, I reckon she gels well with everyone on the show. I do ship Stephrid BUT (do not maim me please), I also love John so yes, I do also root for Jostrid. However, rest assured, the pairing is crystal clear in my fic, and I will do my best to give this pairing the love they deserve to the bitter end. Flashback titles are in _italics_ so hope it doesn't get too confusing between the present and past. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a jot of TTP, the lyrics here are from Duncan Sheik's track '_Half-Life_', and the title of this chapter is inspired by the old Eagles classic of the same name :)**

* * *

**_"Lately, something here don't feel right_  
_ This is just a half-life_  
_ Is there really no escape?_  
_ No escape from time_  
_ Of any kind..."_**

**Chapter Three: The Girl from Yesterday**

Thinking about her nowadays is different. It's not like that moment. Those years ago, standing in the darkness overlooking the twinkling city lights across the harbor. This was that deeper, _raw_ and scary as hell thinking. Though, if he was really honest with himself now – something he'd never had a chance to do since he found out whom he was, he had probably felt remnants of it already. God knows there'd been many instances, he muses, as he thinks back.

* * *

"_My mind is off limits right?"…_

Sitting on the bleachers he remembers smiling back at her reassuringly, meaning it but then only later realizing how difficult it was to actually _mean _it mean it. Her advice that he needed to enjoy his powers more had been sound and welcomed. It was too bad that he had taken it a tad too far. The 'baller lifestyle', while it had sounded awesome (for five minutes) actually reminded him later why he was never cut out for that kind of life. He had all that bothersome 'end of the world' stuff to worry about, who the hell gave a shit if they would make the quarter finals or if his hamstring would be up to the away game next weekend? No wonder he felt burnt out. Which in itself was fucking ridiculous. What eighteen year old in a Western country went around complaining they were 'stressed out'? Well, he reasoned with himself at the time, I have a valid excuse. I am not human. I have super powers. I am an agent for a secret government agency who kills my species and I supposedly help them but I am _really _a (sort of) good guy working for an underground group who are just like me. Lying, beating people up, spying…well that's all in a day's work for me. So yeah, I guess you could say I am under the gun a bit.

When Astrid had called him on his crap – again, he had let his powers get through his 'Astrid' barrier. The lines he'd placed mentally to stop him from accessing her thoughts. He'd promised after all. Then he broke it. Standing on the steps looking up at her, confusion and annoyance because she was not happy with him although he wasn't sure what he'd exactly done, had been enough to allow that barrier to slip. Just a fraction enough for him to hear her loudest thought. To say that he was shocked was a bit of an understatement. He'd always known Astrid loved him. Was almost like a sister to him. Would do anything for him or his family if he'd asked her to. And even if he hadn't. But like that? As in that _other _way? He had never been the best of actors. The look on his face was enough for Astrid to guess what he'd just done. He remembered feeling like someone had kicked him in the stomach when she walked away from him. It had been a busy, and sucky week – not to say the least hearing Cara say their night together had meant nothing, and John kicking his ass (yes, that shit had hurt some). The guilt. The confusion. And pain that it was something that was doomed. Not to mention the tension he had no created between John and himself. Another Dr. Phil high chair moment waiting to happen. When it was time for him to break out the white flag he had already hoped (and prayed secretly) that she would forgive him. She being Astrid. The one person he felt he owed an explanation to above all others. At least he had had the sense to recognise that and act on it.

When she did, it had been a more reserved reunion. Stephen had been relieved but, the tiniest bit disappointed too. That this was them. That what he had 'heard' was done and dusted. He hadn't wanted to read too much into it at the time. He convinced himself that it was due to his Cara pining period, but was it? He remembered how Luka would often tease him about how awesome it would be one day if he and Astrid got married, and then he would finally get a sister. At the time he had simply pounded Luka and told him to get lost. That would never happen. Astrid was family. She was more important than…Than…? The fact that he now knew how deeply she felt had shifted something in their relationship. Something that they would never be able to recover again. And this realization was not lost (or not felt) by Stephen. That night, sitting in the restaurant watching Astrid cut a still steaming pork bun perfectly in half – how they always ate them together, he tried to return her smile and swallow down such thoughts.

* * *

The way things have gone down over the years have taught Stephen many things. Least of all, to appreciate people in the now. Before it's too late. He had spent ten years of his life wondering what had happened to his father. To their family unit. Then thinking he was crazy. Then that he was stuck in some modern, more trippy, adaptation of Wonderland when he'd discovered what he was. Family and Astrid. The only two constant, dare he say 'normal' things in his life. Well, with the exception of his mom being a Lara Croft type of Tomorrow Person, you could almost say she was a regular parent. It was when things started to collide that everything went pear-shaped.

* * *

"_I came as soon as I heard!"…_

He can still recall the nausea in his stomach as he rushed down the street, to the alley so he could teleport. He felt guilty about Peter. About ruining his mother's chance of being happy with a decent guy. It was yet another thing he'd managed to screw up badly, however, the main thing was Luka and his mom were safe and that was more than he could say for Astrid. God. Astrid…Why had he..? Teleporting had taken a while. He'd been so distracted he'd ended up in a (thankfully) empty car not far from the Lair 'stop'. He had to take a moment to breathe before being able to finally arrive at HQ, rushing away from an uncharacteristically concerned Cara and equally disturbing – a quiet, sympathetic Russell to find Astrid.

She was pacing and fingering another of her homemade creations. Tugging at it nervously. Something she only did when she was on the verge of tears.

"Stephen! Can you take me home now?!" she had almost sobbed as she buried her face in his chest. Enveloping her body and tightening his grip on her, he took a moment to breathe in her lavender shampoo, feeling her warmth. Thankful she was unhurt. Physically. He finally had the presence of mind to pull away slowly.

He had tried to break it to her gently. The realities of the situation. That painful silence when he couldn't even bring himself to explain it to her. Cara had done that. Firmly, but not unkindly. The look on Astrid's face had told him all that he needed to know.

"You're the reason I need protecting in the first place!" Astrid Finch could still dish it out good. Even if her most fragile moments. Watching her walk off, Cara the one following her. Being her support. Not him. The one person she's always had around. When it was just the two of them against the world. Before he got a whole new species and 'family'.

The fact that the one time she had actually needed him, he hadn't been there. Yes, he had been protecting his family. They were important too no? He had been grateful to John. Eternally so. He had expressed this wholeheartedly to John. Several times. Did it bother him at the time that John had been more than modest about the whole thing? Maybe. No. Yes. No. It hadn't. John was a leader. He was a survivor of the nightmare that Ultra had forced the Tomorrow People to live in. He was helping a friend. Doing his bit. He had gone through the same thing with a friend in his past. That was it. He had sensed John felt protective towards his best friend after that. Who wouldn't after sharing a life and death experience? Maybe. Perhaps it was a harmless attraction. He wasn't really shocked. Astrid always brought out the best in people. She was the friendly, lovely friend of that tall, dark, brooding, recently de-medicated Stephen Jamieson. Why _wouldn't_ a member of a whole other species also fall for her charms?

Hearing Cara and Russell try to comfort him later that evening, saying he had done the right thing – protecting his mom, and that John had saved her. That things may work out. They would find a way. That in the meantime, Astrid would have to toughen up if she was going to make it down here.

Stephen couldn't listen any longer. He thought back to that look on Astrid's face. The one time he'd ever heard anger and blame towards him in her voice. He wished he had been strong enough to grab her hand. To make her stand still and face him while he told her that she was not fragile. She was sixty different things all in one lean, curly haired package. That she didn't need to prove herself to anyone. She had pulled a bullet out of John's freaking stomach for Christ's sake! That he would do whatever it took to get her home safe. To stop Ultra from getting to her.

He had wanted to look her in the eyes and tell her that she had never needed him to be strong for her.

Because, in hindsight, it had always been the other way around.

* * *

"_I don't want my other life to ever come between us.."_

Even now the words had seemed so…hypocritical. His 'other' life already had. He had chosen his species time and time again. Cara, his inner voice corrected him. Not just her. Ultra. Almost killing himself in the process to find his father. The lies. The double crossing. The missions. Hilary. The worst thing about it was his attraction to Hilary. His partner. An agent hell-bent on making her way to the top of the food chain with no regard for anyone else. They were…good together. In a physical sense. Working together. It was fine. It was fucked up. It made him question his actions. His ability to operate between the two sides. Cara in his head (literally) didn't help.

All the shit happening and of course he hadn't realized how hard it was for Astrid. Adjusting to being a regular Joe again after almost dying a few times more in the last two days than say…never. He hadn't realized how much it had affected her until that day he'd rocked up in the pouring rain and she had told him to go away in polite language. At a loss, he left. Something he had taken to doing in order to 'deal' with all things Astrid and family life. It sucked. It didn't work out long term as a strategy but at the time he thought he could handle it by…not handling it. Wrong.

Was he thrilled when she'd shown up the next day refreshed and chipper, ready for school? Short answer yes. Long answer, maybe. No, it was yes. When Astrid was happy, everything was good. It always had been. Like the other day, today was because of John of course. Not him…Again with that _stupid_ feeling for a split second! What was wrong with it though?! At that point he'd realized he couldn't be ten places at once. He had responsibilities that went _way _above and beyond what the average high school senior had to combat each day. Surely he was entitled to share the load? Surely…

Her evasive answer and the slight smile on her face when he'd teased her about John that morning hadn't been lost on him. So he had backed off. He had no right to ask anyway. Not this time. Something had changed.

This was a new Astrid Finch. Different and perhaps with secrets of her own.

And she most definitely was not his – or anyone's 'load' now.

* * *

**A/N: Done! If this one seemed a bit more angsty than the others, my apologies. It may just be the mid week slump coming out, but hopefully it did the storyline and style justice. Once again, thank you all of you for the support and the interest in my story. I do have a bit of a way to go with it so please stick around and if you have the time please do drop me a line and let me know what you think. Next one up soon. Yay! Public holiday here tomorrow. IslandGem x**


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